A Happy Pup

The Kingsley’s have taken in yet another stray. It’s not enough that I am in a house of boys, a husband, a step-son, two baby boys under the age of three, an old grumpy boy Shitzhu and a crazy, deranged boy Pekinese who I am convinced will never be housebroken and now we have added a yellow lab puppy to the mix.

So here’s how it went down. Billy (you see this is all his fault) convinced me I needed to go for a walk with my mom on Sunday afternoon. Five minutes into the walk a friendly little dog came bounding up to us. He clearly wanted to play, had a collar on and was very friendly. We kept walking our mile loop and he kept tagging right along. We thought he would eventually tire and head back to his house, but by the time we had reached the end of our driveways it was clear he wasn’t going anywhere. My mom informed me the pup had been hanging around since early that morning. He was a bit skinny, but other than that he seemed to be healthy and well-cared for. We surmised he was dropped off in our neighbood that is off the beaten track and full of large fenced in yards….including ours.

He is sweet and homeless and now he had found a home. Call us suckers compassionate, but we just stand the thought of an animal homeless or on the streets. The news reports are full stories about people dropping off animals because they can’t afford to feed them. I understand, but is heartbreaking nonetheless.

Well, needless to say, Jackson has found a happy home. Everyone tells me we should have seen Marley & Me prior to adopting this sweet animal, but I doubt it would have changed anything. He is a true lab in every sense of the word. He chews, chews and chews some more. We clearly need to “Lab Proof” our backyard. He is going to make a wonderful pet, but everyone says they are a puppy for three years.

Harper is already in love with this dog. He is chomping at the bit to get outside with Jackson, but haven’t let him until we have him completely vet checked. That is tomorrow.

So wish us luck…it’s going to be a long three years.

Virtual Class Reunion

One day back in October, I called in sick from work with a terrible cold. Several of my friends had emailed me recently and asked if I was on this thing called Facebook. I immediately thought, of course not, I have much more valuable things to do with my time than surf the net and put all my personal information out there for the world to view and mock. But on this day boredom and curiosity got the better of me and I typed in the url line that would suck 497 hours out of my life that I will never get back. However….however….it has been so worth it in the end, now that I have learned to moderate my “Face Time”.

I have reconnected with so many old friends from college, high school, grade school…old colleagues, old neighbors and tons of relatives. I feel so validated every time someone requests my friendship or accepts me as their friend. Who knew that this band geek was so popular!

I have yet to figure out the psychology of it but needless to say I am fascinated and addicted. It’s like skipping down memory lane and catching up with old friends while taking great pride in the fact that all of your old friends look just as old as you do. Like a virtual class reunion.

I constantly think of people I want to search out but by the time I get online I can’t remember who it was that I wanted to “friend”. I have even got may parents in on the action. They haven’t quiet got it figured out yet, but I have tried to explain it’s like email on steriods. In fact, it makes email seem so obsolete.

So for those of you not yet on my friend list, just send me the request and if I know you then I will accept you into my circle which grows a little each day.

Daily Thankful

Will's Baptism

I am thankful today for my beautiful family and for all of the real blessings they bring to my life. I wake up every morning and am constantly amazed and how lucky I am to have them all.

Retail Problems?

This is not exactly a post about anything related to motherhood, but I feel compelled to state my opinion.

Every night news programs are filled with stories about retail companies going out of business and how retailers are suffering, trying to find new and innovative ways to lure back customers. This past Friday night I made the rare outing by myself to do a little shopping. I was specifically looking for a new outfit for Will’s baptism on Sunday. I went to two stores and both I encountered no lines, very few customers and plenty of merchandise. For a minute I thought, wow, these stores really are suffering. But then I asked one clerk in one store to hold something for a few minutes while I went next door to do a little comparison shopping. Now mind you, there was nobody in the store, a rolling rack behind her counter two feet away was empty and we were at the very front of the store. When I asked to her hold the suit I was considering, her response blew me away, “They can only hold items in the fitting room area”. I stared at her for a moment in utter disbelief. Was she really going to make me walk all the way to the back of the store to hold one item? I continued to stare at her and the blank, uninterested look on her face told me she was indeed not going to help me. So I politely said, “no thank you”, hung it back on the rack from where it came and left the store with no intent of ever going back.

You know, I may not shop as much as I used to but when I do I expect the retailers who get my hard earned money to at least appreciate my business. What a novel idea that instead of finding ways to falsely raise and then slash prices to lure back unsuspecting suckers customers, maybe retailers should just try a little good old fashioned, common sense oriented customer service. Try empowering employees to think for themselves and really help customers who are often, overwhelmed, in a hurry and trying to get the most bang for their buck. Customer loyalty is a much more powerful long term investment then the short-term slash and burn price reductions.

As for the employees out there who don’t seem to give a flip about the customers they are paid to wait on. Try being grateful you even have a job and imagine not being able to feed your family or make your house payment. I dare say there are many out there who wish they had your counter to work behind.

It’s Been A Long Time…And a lot has happened

It’s been almost five months since I last wrote to you. Honestly I didn’t think many people were reading it until I stopped writing. If you are reading it, let me know, say hi in the comments.

In the past five months, like I said, a lot has happened. The biggest and most important thing is my family has grown by one red-headed, blue-eyed, all-boy, screaming, no-sleeping, eating machine.
William Kendrick Lee Kingsley entered our world on August 7th, 2008 at 2:39 p.m. He was perfect and beautiful and loud and hungry right from the very start. Not much has changed. I had every intention of writing all about our 2nd baby during my maternity leave and then I realized, I don’t have time to blog, I have a second baby. I took every moment of my leave and enjoyed him. We slept late, ate late, watched Regis & Kelly every morning, then took a nap. One of the ladies at daycare commented how pretty I looked one afternoon while picking up Harper. I told her, you too can look good at 5 p.m. if you sleep all day and shower at 4 p.m. The vacation was short lived because Harper had a problem.

On September 9th, 2008 Harper had his 2nd surgery in two years. At his two year check up, right before Will was born, the doctor found a lump under his right arm the size of small marshmallow. I tried really hard not to freak out, but as you can imagine every scenario under the sun went through my mind. But I kept it to myself and focused on what we knew for sure. I kept telling myself and everyone else, I am only going to worry when they tell me I have something to worry about. So at the end of July, we went to Vanderbilt Children’s to see the same pediatric surgeon who repaired his hernia last year. The doctor was concerned but not overly worried or anxious to take the lump out. He suggested we wait until after the baby was born and deal with it then. So 6 days after Will was born we had the ultrasound. That’s when I started to worry. They seemed more anxious and concerned. The surgery was scheduled and Will wasn’t even a month old. The next two weeks crept by and finally the day came to have the lump removed. I remember not being able to sleep that night and being in a really rotten mood. Harper did beautifully and miraculously was up and running around just hours after a 2 inch incision was cut into his torso. The surgery was a huge success, however we didn’t find out the pathology for 8 more days. The nurse called as I was driving down Gallatin Road in Hendersonville. I had to pull over because as soon as she said the words “benign” and “completely normal” three months of anxiety and fear came pouring out. I could hardly breathe I sobbed so hard. I had no idea I had been holding so much back. It was probably the single greatest relief of my life. It’s amazing what the brain does for you when faced with something so monumental. I had just coped and didn’t know I was even coping.

It was shortly after this that I went back to work. Things have been hectic, but I am blessed with a perfect job and a fantastic boss. I have flexibility, autonomy and it is actually interesting. My new office is right across the street from the kid’s school and five minutes from home. No more commuting to the city, no more hours in traffic and I can see the boys whenever I like.

The last two months have been a blur. Between work, daycare crud, Christmas and running our business I barely have time to breath. But I try each day to take a few minutes to remind myself how lucky we are. We have beautiful healthy children, we are employed and love our work, we are both healthy, albeit exhausted and we have a great marriage. Make no mistake, our life is not without problems and we have our moments that even shock us from time to time. But the one thing that makes it all worth it is the realization and appreciation for the good stuff. The times when we laugh so hard at Harper we nearly pee on ourselves because he has learned to squirt water between his teeth, or at 1 a.m. when all I really want to do is sleep and through a foggy haze little Will smiles and coos at me like a tiny ray of sunshine in the middle of the night.

I have learned recently it is more important to sit down and drag all the train track pieces out in the floor when I really need to be doing laundry. These are the times that will be gone in an instant. Having Will and Harper and Billy and Billy III in my life has taught me that I am really a girly, girl and need my shoe and make-up fix from time to time. I have also learned to appreciate the value of an hour and just how blissful it is to drive in a silent car.

So those of you faithful friends and family, who continue to read my ramblings and musings, thank you. I’ll try to keep you updated more often. It’s a new year and my first resolution, right behind losing the baby weight is to write more. It’s what I love, my favorite hobby. I am no Shakespeare, but then again he was no Dawn Kingsley!

Good night for now.

It’s Our Anniversary

Today is our 4th wedding anniversary.

In some ways I can’t believe it’s only been 4 years and other ways I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already. It seems that we were always meant to be together but it took us a while to figure it out. My husband has always been a part of my life, at least for the last 22 years. We met when we were young and stupid. He still makes me feel young; hopefully we are a bit smarter. We married each other which is probably the smartest thing either of us have done.

In the four years since we married so much has happened. I graduated from grad school, Little Billy graduated from high school, we started a business, I have changed jobs three times (not all by my choice), we have bought a house and moved, became landlords, worked tirelessly on both houses, taken some great vacations and oh yes, have had one son together and are about to have another join us two weeks from today. Four years doesn’t seem like enough time to accomplish all of the above.

Our story started so many years ago and every time I look at my husband I can’t help but have a flashback to the days when we first met. He looked like Rick Springfield with his sexy 80’s mullet and laid back style. I was attracted to him because of his unassuming attitude, nice personality and adorable face. Not to mention the fact that he looked great in overalls running a train. He was also one of the nicest, coolest guys I had ever met. We had such a good time just hanging out. The problem was one of us was always dating someone else.

Fate didn’t intervene for years and when it did it was a whirlwind.

We thought then and for years after, we got along so well because we were so much a like. But the truth was far different. I think the reason we get along so well is because we have a lot of common interests but we are sooooo totally opposite. That reality didn’t set in until after we married.

22 years later I look at him and see the same sweet, unassuming guy that has morphed into a wonderful man. He is still the coolest guy I know, a remarkable father with one of the kindest hearts I have ever seen.

Since we are about to have a baby, we are trying to save money and we have been incredibly busy we opted to not buy each other gifts this year. We didn’t even buy each other cards. But you know, this morning he hugged me, kissed my cheek and thanked me for marrying him. For me there is no gift that money could buy that would mean more than those words.

I would marry him all over again and again and again. I just feel so blessed every day when I wake up and I see him sleeping next to me.

Happy Anniversary, sweetie. Thank you for marrying me.

Oh My Aching Everything

We went to the doctor today but before I saw her we went to have an ultrasound. (See the amazing 3-D pics to the left) I got very wound up when the ultrasound tech said I was actually measuring at almost 39 weeks and it was possible my doctor might be persuaded to move my date up.

I nearly skipped the one block to my doc’s office and if you have seen me lately you know skipping is not something that is easily accomplished. I was so thrilled about the possibility of being able to breath again and go pee without holding up my belly I was giddy.

When we arrived I went through the pre-visit check in. Everything checked out good – no weight gain – check, good blood pressure – check, no sign of toxemia – check. Then the doctor came in. Before I could get the words out of my mouth, she promptly took out her mean doctor pin and burst my balloon. She said under no circumstances do they EVER, and she reemphasized ever, change the due date. I could literally feel my face falling into my overly swollen lap. Billy touched my shoulder and it actually felt numb. I thought I would literally fall off the table. I couldn’t believe my ears. She was really going to make me wait three and half more weeks – 23 more days. Was she joking? Could it be true? What kind of doctor had I found when my OB of 17 years retired and was snorkeling somewhere off the Barrier Reef. He would have seen the reason in putting me out of my misery now.

But then she said the magic words, “I am going to take the emotion out of it for you”. She asked me the oh so logical question – would you rather have your baby in three weeks and be healthy and good or take him to early and end up in the NICU for two weeks? What kind of question was that anyway? I couldn’t believe she was trying to inject reason into my moment of complete and utter despair. But she was and is right. She calmly and gently explained that ultrasounds are not always perfect and they can often be off a pound or a week or more in their estimation. The baby is measuring at 7 lbs 12 ounces. I am certain she is right because he feels like he weighs about 10lbs but maybe she meant he could really be closer to six pounds.

Whatever the weight, she is ultimately correct. The baby’s health is my first and foremost priority. I have learned through my first child that pregnancy is only the beginning of the pain you feel as a mother. The real joy comes with a healthy, happy baby who says every night, “sweet dreams mommy” followed by a big, wet sloppy, all over your cheek kiss. These moments far outweigh anything I have to endure now. In fact I find myself saying often, I don’t remember being this uncomfortable with my first pregnancy. It’s amazing how all the of the discomfort vanishes in the first moment your hold you new son.

I have found a great doctor and I trust her implicitly. And honestly three weeks is such a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things.

A Day at the Races

My husband told me a funny story tonight about an Indy car driver who he thinks actually appreciates the fact that he has a dream job…getting paid millions to drive a race car for a living.

However, this past Saturday, my cute photographer husband (the one on the left), whom I have known for 22 years and have never seen more than a few feet from a camera got to spend the day at Nashville Superspeedway with his 19 year old son, photographing the race car drivers he says have the dream job.

While he may not get paid millions of dollars, in my opinion a day at the races with your great son is the real dream job. The smiles on both their faces says it all. That kind of day is priceless.

Another Girls Night Out

A month or so ago, who can remember, I got together with my girlfriends for a much needed girls night out. We sat there at our roundtable dinner, sans all things resembling responsibility i.e. kids, husbands, bosses, business partners and for the most part cell phones and talked endlessly about what has been happening in our lives. The five of us are quite a group so if you will indulge me for just a moment, I would like to brag on my friends a bit.

One of our group came back for a visit from her home in Florida which prompted our little get together. This woman is a rock star in her career having recently been promoted to CFO of a big hospital in Florida just a few short miles from the beach. It’s not enough she is the smartest, most hardworking career woman I know, she also wears great shoes, has phenomenal style and is a moral compass for all things in my life. She also happens to be Harper’s godmother and my best friend. She is one I turn to when I am in need of guidance on matters of the heart, career, finance or anything else that happens to come my way. She is the person I discovered my love of quilting with and I am still in denial that she moved three years ago. It seems the shock of her announcement will never go away. Every time I see a blue VW beetle I automatically look to see if it is her. Needless to say, it isn’t and I never fail to be disappointed.

Another is a rock star entrepreneur who recently retired at an early age (I won’t state her age out of respect, but suffice it say we were not born that far apart). She recently had her second baby girl and has become a stay at home mom, for now. I say for now, because I know this girl and she is not one to sit back and take it easy. She bought a bar 10 years ago after a night out with me on the town and has become an expert on how to successfully buy, manage and build an empire in the night club industry without, to my knowledge ever having served a cocktail before. I met her during her stint in healthcare which she luckily escaped. I admire her ability to turn a good opportunity into a golden opportunity and a bad situation into a goldmine. She has more business sense in her little finger than most MBA grads have years after graduating from their programs.

Another is a rock star mom, part-time social worker and my standard bearer for everything maternal. If I don’t know the answer to a question about anything related to child rearing and/or child health maintenance, I immediately call her and she will alleviate my fears, answer my question or commiserate with me in my pain. She married a good friend of ours from years ago and her second daughter just turned one. She has a two and half year old that has a better vocabulary than most 1st graders and is a charter member of Harper’s Harem. She is funny, a bit neurotic in a good way and has a most compassionate heart.

Last but not least, there is the rock star retired business manager for a crazy man who did well in the EBay business and again has more business sense than most people I know and a whole lot I don’t. She is from New Orleans and is a dedicated family girl who has endlessly helped and supported her family during some very trying times post-Katrina. She is single, loving it and an inspiration to all of us at just keeping it real in the dating world. I can sit and listen to her dating stories for hours as she entertains us in her distinct New Orleans drawl with the trials of the men who fall for her but don’t quite measure up. She is like all my friends compassionate and caring and dedicated to her family and friends.

We are, you might think, at first glance an unlikely group of women who came together through various connections. Some through work, some through others in the group but we come together in a common bond that is shared by all women, friendship. I often look at the women in this group and marvel at my luck and sheer good fortune to count them as my friends. These are the two in the morning girls you can call for any reason. You might get an earful at first if you’re on the wine, but they will be there for you in the pinch. These are also the girls who take no prisoners. If I’m wrong, they are usually the first to point it out and keep me honest.

The women in this post are the girls whom I see the most often. I am blessed with many girlfriends in all parts of the country that I don’t see nearly often enough but value their presense in my life.

We have all gone in different directions, some of us have gotten married, some of us have had kids, some of us have accomplished remarkable things and some of us have struggled. We are professional, hardworking, overstressed and underappreciated by just about everyone we know, but one thing is for certain. We are a group that is unique and when we get together to have our little roundtables, the wine flows, the laughter starts and the time that has passed since our last outing seems to disappear faster than the first bottle of wine.

Dear Birthday Boy,

I can’t believe it has been two years since your wonderful little light shown in our life for the first time. Two years, 104 weeks, 730 days, 17,520 hours – all measures of time since I first held you in my arms and fell in love with everything about you. From your crooked little toes that look just your Gege’s or your belly button that looks like a smiley face or your beautiful hazel brown eyes that bore into me just like your Daddy’s or your little hurricane of hair on the crown of your head that should have been a clue as to the force of nature God just put in our lives.

You were so small; barely 8lbs when we took you home and a slight 20 inches long. You were so amazing and strong willed right from the get go. They say it takes a while for you to recognize a baby’s personality, but yours was evident from the first moment I tried to breast feed you and you absolutely, unequivocally refused. Once you figured out where the food came from it was better, but even now, you can be as hungry as a lion, screaming for something to eat and refuse your favorite food.

The days have passed so quickly and it seems each one was filled with a new first. Your view of the world has allowed Daddy and I to look at it in a whole new way, amazed and awed by things, I’m certain, we haven’t noticed since we were born. Of course, we can’t remember the newness of the world from our infancy, but it is miraculous to view it through your eyes.

In the last twelve months you have gone from a baby to a little boy, almost over night. You have learned to walk, developed your own special language and learned that everything is better at Gege, Papa’s and Granny K’s house. There have been so many first’s and I am sure I will forget a few. But the ones I can remember are etched into my memory forever.

For example, I kept wondering when you would walk. You were so close and we tried so hard to help you feel confident as you gained your balance. Your first birthday came and went, but shortly there after you just took off and walked down the hall. I stood dumbfounded in your bedroom because a few minutes before you hesitated and insisted on crawling.

Everyone said, don’t worry, one day he will just get and go. And so you did. It was the morning of July 4th and it gave an entirely new meaning to Independence Day. Suddenly you were upright and headed out into a world that would soon come to frighten and amaze you all in the same five second span of time.

The language of babies is one only a few privileged adults are fortunate enough to understand. You have unmistakably developed your own language over the passing months. Some of what you tell me only I understand perfectly. While other words are said with such passion and enthusiasm it tells me, while I can’t necessarily understand your meaning, I know it must be of great importance. Other words are so clear I look at you, astonished by your obvious brilliance at such an early age.

And to say you are a parrot is an understatement and defies probability. You can and do repeat just about everything you hear. Maybe not in the same phonetic context as it was delivered, but still the words are there and the look of pride on your face is only out shown by your Daddy’s and mine. That is until the day you repeat the dreaded swear words I am certain could have only come from your Daddy’s lips. For you see, I do not swear Baby boy, just ask your Gege, she has never heard me swear, at least not on purpose.

They say the terrible twos start when a baby turns two, but I ardently disagree with this statement. The terrible twos, should be called the “terrible 2nd year”. Not that your 2nd year was all that terrible, just terribly challenging for your older mother and your even older father.

Your personality has developed even more and have added to the traits you displayed as an infant only a few hours old in the hospital. Some of the things we have observed include your complete and total lack of patience. I am still at a loss as to where this trait comes from because the Kingsley’s and the Stultz’s are models of patience and maturity when it comes to just about every matter.

This lack of patience is often observed because you see, you haven’t quite mastered your problem solving skills. For example, when your trike gets stuck sideways in the gate, where moments before it went through quite easily, you screech with palpable displeasure and repeat “Help Mommy, Help Mommy” over and over until I rescue the Radio Flyer from the clutches of the baby gate.

You also have developed this little red-headed temper, clearly inherited from your Papa Stultz. I say the temper comes from Papa, because you could not possibly have inherited this characteristic from your laid-back mommy and your unassuming Daddy. While your hair isn’t quite as red-headed as his, the little temper causes you to throw your passie 100 mph across the kitchen when you are put in time out. The only solace I take in the 100 mph passie throw is that someday it may translate into a fastball, strike out in the 9th inning in the 7th game of the World Series that allows the Cardinals to win again with you as their pitcher.

You poor thing, there are a lot of time outs in your future, I’m afraid.

As for the truly wonderful things about you, they are almost too numerous to list but first among my favorites is your perfect little giggle. You have a laugh that infects a room and causes grown adults to belly laugh and go weak at the knees when you utter it. It can be over something as silly as a Zerbert on your cheek or a back flip off Mommy’s lap while she is trying to work or using Daddy as a tackling dummy in the living room. When something strikes your funny bone, the laughter lights up your face and the entire room stops to enjoy the moment.

You love with reckless abandon. I can only hope this has come from the bottomless and immeasurable love you receive from all of those around you. To show you what I mean about reckless, when we ask for some love it comes in the form of a headbutt and a cheek slime. Followed up by the most passionate, enthusiastic kiss blowing, high-fiving, neck hugging one can only imagine. The ritual of goodbye or goodnight include sloppy kisses, goodbye and goodnight rhymes and lots of hugs over and over again. My only wish is that when you are 20 and away at your college dorm, you won’t mind if I call to say, “Night, night, don’t let the bed bugs bite”.

You are about to be a big brother in a few weeks and we have tried to hard to prepare you for this new little guy that’s about to rock your world. He will be small and helpless and undoubtedly, like you, will have a definite and distinct personality from the very start. Unfortunately, your little life will be turned upside for a while.

You won’t understand why suddenly you have to sleep in the race car bed and the new baby is sleeping in your “night, night’ bed.

You won’t understand when Mommy has to hold your little brother and can’t hold you at the same time.

You won’t understand why suddenly you are the not the center of every room you enter and why this other little thing is stealing the show.

But sweetheart, always understand and know without a doubt, no matter what, you will always be my first born, the one I held first, the one that made my heart and world stop and made the angels sing. I will love your new little brother as much as I love you, he will make my heart stop and will make the angels sing, for sure.

Bugaboo, you both will receive everything I can give you as a Mommy, but your place will always be firmly secure in my heart as the one that made me a new Mommy for the first time. The one who taught me no matter what age or what is happening in your life, nothing can take the place or even compare to the unconditional love you give and receive from being a Mom.

Happy Birthday, baby boy.

Love, Mommy